Acting “As If” - How Actions Shape Our Reality

In 1979, a group of men in their 70s and 80s gathered at a retreat center to hang out for a week. The retreat was a little dated (by 20 years, to be exact). Everything in their environment was set up as if it were the year 1959. Newspapers, magazines, movies, and books from '59 were scattered around. Vintage furniture, décor, and old photographs covered every room.

The men were given specific instructions to play along. They were to act as if it truly was twenty years earlier. They wore clothes that were fashionable at the time. They wore ID badges with pictures of their younger selves. They were told to speak to one another as if they were still working at their old jobs. They discussed President Eisenhower, sports stars like Johnny Unitas, and other "current events."

This only lasted for a week, but by the time they left, the men had a literal pep in their step. The researchers who conducted this study found the men to be more flexible and hold a better posture than when they arrived. There were improvements in everything from their eyesight to their memory to their physical strength. There was even some improvement in their intelligence.

When the researchers asked random strangers to look at their before and after photos, they said the men in the "after" photos looked, on average, three years younger.

THIS. IS. WILD.

This landmark study by the great Ellen Langer (you freaking titan..) indicates that our behavior and perceptions can change us physically.

In psychology, this has become known as the "As If" Principle. The idea is that by acting "as if" you are in a desired state, you can actually bring about that state. In other words, it's our behavior that influences our thoughts and emotions rather than the other way around.

The Formula Is Reversed

When I first got into self-development, we all knew how change worked. It was a very simple and obvious formula: thoughts trigger emotions, which lead to our behaviors, which ultimately shape our lives.

It made sense to me. If I wanted to be a ladies man with a shredded six-pack who drank daiquiris on a Tuesday next to a briefcase full of cash, I first needed to change my thoughts (ease up, I was 19, and my ambitions were shallow).

PSA: It’s incredibly difficult to change your thoughts. I meditated. I journaled. I visualized kale giving me that six-pack.

And then I’d wrap up the day with a bowl of popcorn, feeling exactly the same.

It turns out that the formula was backward. Like most things in psychology, the “father of American psychology,” William James, was onto this long before modern research could support it. He wrote, “If you want a quality, act as if you already have that quality.”

It turns out we don’t need to change our thoughts (thank god) first, but rather, change our actions first. The formula isn’t: Thoughts -> Emotions -> Actions. In reality it’s Actions -> Emotions -> Thoughts.

Modern research is starting to catch up to James. Professor Richard Wiseman highlights research in his book “The As If Principle” that shows small changes in behavior can have a measurable effect on our emotional state—smiling can make you feel happier, standing taller can make you feel more powerful, and exercising can increase your desire to work out. 

As Harvard Psychologist Dr. Jerome Bruner once said, “You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling than you are feel yourself into action.”

Okay, so fake it until I make it?

Not quite. The cliché fake it until you make it doesn't fully embody what we're talking about. My good friend Jade Tetalikes the phrase "Be it until you see it."

Pretending to have confidence or simply dressing in workout clothes doesn't pack the same punch. We actually have to act like the thing we're trying to become. As Aristotle said, "To be excellent, we cannot simply think or feel excellent; we must act excellently."

Just as we watch, judge, and assess other people's actions, our brains watch, judge, and assess our own actions. University of Virginia psychologist Timothy Wilson has a concept he calls the "do good, be good principle." When people take positive actions, their self-concept begins to shift. For instance, people who do volunteer work start to change their narratives about themselves to "caring, helpful people."

Author James Clear says, "Every action is a vote for the person you want to become."

So whatever it is you'd like to be, you need to simply take action in that direction. 

The good news is that it doesn't take much. 

Start Small, Start Now

My wife and I have this inside joke. Well, I guess it's not very funny.. so maybe not an inside "joke." Just something we say to each other, so, an inside saying?

I'll be leaving for the gym, and I'll say, "I really don't want to go to the gym. I just want to 'be gymed.'" Or she'll come home from a long day of teaching and say, "I don't want to shower; I just want to be showered." It's the acknowledgment of a struggle all humans face.

In physics, activation energy is the "initial spark needed to catalyze a reaction." Psychology has taken that term for its own. In order to kickstart a behavior, we need a spark against inertia. My wife and I often lack the activation energy to get in the gym or take a shower. The problem is that this is where most of us get stuck.

We believe we need to feel motivated in order to exercise..

We need to feel confident before we put our work out there..

We need to feel in love before we take loving actions..

But as we now know, that's not how it works. If we can just get started, we'll often begin to feel those desired emotions. Some evidence suggests that as little as two minutes can change our emotional state.

So practice aligning your actions with your goals and values, and ignore your thoughts and emotions. They're fleeting anyway, and between you and I, they lie.

Get started today. Start small, start now. Because if you don't, if you continually wait until you feel the right emotions or have the right thoughts, you'll be waiting a long time, and eventually, it'll be too late.