How Motivation Work: The Thee Dials

As I write this, I’m visiting my mom in North Carolina.

Every time I visit Carolina, I have flashbacks to the most motivated, productive time of my life. One summer during college, I visited my sister and her husband in Winston-Salem, NC. They hooked me up with a job for the summer and let me live with them rent-free. After the summer, I decided not to return to school and self-invited myself to stay for the next three years.

During that time, I was more focused and motivated than any other time in my life. I became a certified personal trainer with the American College of Sports Medicine, wrote my first book, tripled my income, read 200 books on psychology, business, and self-development, added 15-pounds of muscle, and met the woman I’d end up marrying. Oh, and went back to school and finished my degree.

I don’t share these things to brag.

Just kidding, of course, I do.

Kidding again. I share because I often think about this period of my life and what made me so intensely motivated. What makes any of us feel motivated? As a trainer, there’s probably no question I receive more from clients and coaches alike.

Last week, in The JillFit Coaching Academy ( https://www.jillfitprograms.com/Coaching-Academy), I introduced a concept I call the “Motivational Dials.” It’s a framework for thinking about motivation and how we can help nudge others towards positive behaviors like my sister and her husband did for me all those years ago.

A New Motivational Model

Before we get into the dials, we need to change the way we think about motivation in the first place. Most coaches and leaders I work with operate from what I call The Light Switch Model. Call it "motivation classic." It's the belief that most leaders and trainers have about how to motivate people. If we *just* provide the right information, say the right thing in the right way, or check in at the right frequency, then we'll hit some switch that turns on the motivation centers in the brain.

This model is inherently flawed. Nothing we can say, do, or show other people will flip the switch for sustained motivation. That's right—we can't motivate people—at least not long-term and/or ethically. Or at least not in a cause-and-effect way like the Light Switch Model implies.

Humans hate being forced, coerced, controlled, or manipulated. Some evidence suggests that if we even slightly feel that somebody is trying to influence us, we can act against our own interests just to avoid being influenced.

And the more we lean into this model, the more frustrated we'll become. If we believe we can motivate in this way, then when we inevitably don't flip the switch, the relationship starts to fracture. That frustration leaks through, turnover increases, burnout comes in hot, we experience a crisis of confidence, and results stall.

Accepting that the light switch model is ineffective, we can open ourselves to a different, more indirect model.

The Michelangelo Model

Instead, we can look at motivation through an entirely different lens. I call this model The Michelangelo Model based on a quote by the great Italian sculptor and painter. When talking about his sculptures, he said, "The sculpture is already complete within the marble block before I start my work. It is already there; I just have to chisel away the superfluous material."

This is how motivation actually works. Like a Michelangelo masterpiece, human beings already contain inherent motivation, creativity, potential, curiosity, a joy for learning, and a tendency towards growth and improvement.

Our job as coaches is to clear away the excess. Chisel away the superfluous. Over time, behavior change occurs naturally and sustainably.

This is a critical reframe. If we believe that we need to be the ones to motivate another, we're dooming ourselves to failure. It's too much pressure on us and not enough onus on our people. But if we believe that human beings already have all the motivation they need, our job is simply to create an environment for that to flourish.  

And we can do that by tweaking the dials…

The Three Motivational Dials

I like thinking about any area of self-development in terms of dials. No area of behavior change is black and white. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions. There’s no light switch 👀. Dials can be “tuned” up or down, allowing for the nuance of behavior change. In theory, if we calibrate the dials correctly, we create an environment conducive to motivation.

Think about the world of health and fitness. Sometimes, during football season, I can find myself planted on the couch for seven hours watching Redzone while crushing my homemade buffalo chicken dip (which is fantastic by the way). I embody the personality of the “couch potato.” After those seven hours, I feel lethargic, uninspired, apathetic, and exhausted. You could say my food “dial” is too high.

On the other end, think about the stereotypical “dieter.” They turn their food dial alllllll the way down. And are they a joy to be around? Probably not. They tend to be irritable, confused, directionless, and inconsistent (the average dieter has tried 12 different diets. Not exactly a paragon of sustainability).

It’s the same thing in motivation; we’ll have to evaluate and tweak each dial to chisel away at all the excess marble.

1. Information Dial

In the 1930s, cigarettes were "doctor-recommended." Some ads suggested that smoking could "aid digestion and even act as a weight-loss aid."

In the 1990's, we thought Cheerios were healthy – a great source of fiber and heart-healthy. So, I'd crush four bowls of cereal before school. By 9am, I was starving, and by the time basketball practice came around, I had no energy, and my legs would give out on me.

Had I had better information, I could've had something more sustainable for breakfast to stay away through Ms. Plum's history lecture.

This is the first Motivational Dial: the Information Dial. The information dial can be defined as the degree to which we have the information we need to succeed. 

Heart-healthy Cheerios and cigarettes are examples of the information dial being turned down too low. If people don't have the information to succeed, they will chain-smoke Lucky Strikes and swallow up Lucky Charms. People who don't know how to lift weights aren't motivated to go to the gym.

Conversely, people won't be inspired to act if the information dial is too high. Too much information can overwhelm us and make us indecisive. One of the studies my family gets the pleasure of hearing about all the time is the "jam study" (Sheena Iyengar, Lepper 2000). Psychologists set up a lovely little table at a grocery store for people to try and buy jams. When the table had six different kinds of jams, 40% of people stopped by.

When they laid out a cornucopia of twenty-four jams, 60% stopped by. The plot twist was that when there were only six to consider, 31% of people bought. But when we had 24 jams, only 3% went home with a nice strawberry (or grape, whatever).

Sometimes, we don't need more information. In their book Positioning, Al Ries and Jack Trout write, "Today, communication is the problem. We have become the world's first over-communicated society. Each year, we send more and receive less."

We can turn the information dial-up for beginners and provide information and education, but once people start becoming distracted, inconsistent, or get shiny object syndrome, we need to dial it back. Focus on the fundamentals. Focus on doing less, but better.

2. The Safety Dial

As humans, there is no more foundational need than a sense of safety. We come into this world as completely helpless creatures who are reliant on others (particularly our parents) for survival. British psychologist John Bowlby spent his life studying how we attach to our parents. We become more willing to put ourselves out there when we feel secure and supported. If we don’t feel secure and supported, we will turn inward, try to rely on ourselves, feel like a victim, and feel helpless.

Bowlby discovered that these “attachment styles” affect us developmentally as adults in our relationships, work, and behavior. He called it “attachment theory.”

Research shows that there is no such thing as a 100% securely attached person. Under certain stresses and uncertainties, we all become little nervous babies. We feel alone, scared, stressed.

Which brings us to dial #2.

The safety dial is the degree to which we feel safe from judgment, blame, or ridicule and feel connected to the human experience at large.

As leaders, we can turn the safety dial up by validating people’s experience. We’re all human. We’re all flawed. As leaders, we need to normalize their experience. People feel like they’re the only ones struggling.

By helping them feel connected to the greater human experience, we ease their stress and anxiety, clearing the way for positive behaviors. Stress is one of the greatest detractors of positive behaviors.

BUT.. if the dial is turned up too high, coaching these people turns into commiserating, complaining, and blaming sessions. People can become entitled and position themselves as the victim. If that’s the case, we’ll have to turn the dial down a bit by not validating some of their experiences and providing some tough love.

3. The Connection Dial

And last but not least, the connection dial. The connection dial is the degree to which people feel they belong or generally feel close to other people. It’s feeling loved, cared for, and valued.

In Self-Determination Theory, my favorite theory of all time, they call this core component of motivation “relatedness.”Connection in leadership is the hill I will die on.

People’s deep need to feel understood and related to is the single greatest driver of influence. If your people feel like you know them, like you truly care about them as human beings, they will run through a wall for you and for themselves.

In today’s society, trust is deteriorating. One-third of people think strangers can be trusted, and this has been steadily declining since the 70s. Surveys show that less than half of full-time employees have a high level of trust in their employer. It can also take a lot of time for people to trust somebody at work (~3 years).

High trust and connection lead to less stress, fewer sick days, less burnout, and more satisfaction in life. Increasing levels of loneliness are associated with inflammation, accelerated aging, and cardiovascular health risks.

As coaches and leaders, taking the time to connect with people matters more than anything else.

If your dial is low, you might forget names and key details of somebody’s life, ask minimal questions about what they think and feel, be a poor listener, or assume you know what’s best despite not taking the time to understand the individual.

On the other hand, we can turn it up too high, and our coaching sessions and work environment turn into a sorority event where you just chit-chat with your bestie but aren’t effective in getting results. If this is the case, you’ll need to set boundaries and structures to be effective, disclose just a little bit less about yourself, and strategically interrupt and redirect.

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When I moved to Carolina all those years ago, I had these three dials tuned in. My sister and her husband gave me information, safety, and connection in droves. I felt like the marble had been chiseled away, and I found myself attacking life in a way I never had before. I’ve been eternally grateful for that time, and the impacts have lasted over a decade. 

We can do this for our people, too. We can clear the blocks and make a lasting difference in their lives, and they’ll never forget you for it.

Sure, it can be slow, but it’s the best investment we can make in our work. And frankly, it’s the only way motivation works.