Why We Burn Out (and How to Avoid It)

A Mexican fisherman docked his boat where he always did, right on the edge of his tiny village.

An American tourist walking by noticed the fisherman and complimented him on the quality of his fish. 

"How long did it take to catch them?" asked the tourist. 

"Not very long," answered the fisherman.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The fisherman was confused by the question. His small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. He didn't respond. 

The American asked, "If you're not staying out longer, then what do you do with all your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American pressed, "I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch."

"And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"Well, with the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish!" 

"And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one, and so on, until you have an entire fleet! Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant."

"And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"You can leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there, you can direct your huge enterprise."

"And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"Well, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stock and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And then what?" 

"This is the best part. Once you have your millions, you'll be able to retire and live in a tiny village near the coast. You'll be able to sleep late, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife, and spend your evenings having a few drinks, playing the guitar, and singing a few songs with your friends!"

This parable is from the book The 4-hour Work Week by Tim Ferris' book, and it beautifully illustrates why so many of the leaders I work with are so burnt out. 

Although there are many benefits to capitalism (you don't see me sprinting down to settle into a Mexican village with a fishing pole), there's also a very real human tax — the relentless pursuit of more, bigger, faster, better for its own sake leaves human beings exhausted, stressed, and sick (i.e. burnout). 

The first part of the burnout formula is our tendency to fill every free moment with something productive; everything we do needs to be in the name of improving ourselves or making money. The pure volume of hours and energy we devote to our work lives can and does have an effect. 

Americans notoriously work more hours and take less vacation than our European counterparts. Being overworked can have tangible effects on our health. In countries like Japan, they even have a term for "death by overwork," Karoshi, because people are literally dying of exhaustion.

Humans are designed to handle short-term stressors. Our hard-wiring is set up to outrun a hungry lion or fight off a rival tribe (or at least try). When we feel stressed, our body releases hormones, specifically adrenalin, noradrenalin, and cortisol, to give us the energy required to deal with these stressors. When people hear "cortisol," they immediately think, "Stress hormone! Bad!" But cortisol is misunderstood. Cortisol helps turn sugar and fat into energy and suppresses other biological functions that are less important during stress, such as digestion, immune function, reproduction, and repair, so we can focus all of our resources on punching that lion in the face and then running away as fast as possible.

In the short term, this is a healthy biological response that actually makes us stronger. Like exercising in a gym, the burst of these hormones, followed by a recovery period, makes us more durable and resistant to future stressors. 

The problem is that modern stresses aren't brief interventions but steady drips of overwhelm, deadlines, urgencies, uncertainty, taxes, health challenges, and constant demands on our time and attention. This leads to cortisol being sustained at high levels over long periods, which can cause heart disease, cancers, depression, chronic anxiety, and more.

Nature has this natural, cyclical rhythm to it. Waves crash and wash out, tides role in and out, seasons change, the sun sets, trees shed leaves, birds migrate, and bears hibernate. All of life has this oscillating rhythm to it – periods of growth and exertion followed by recovery and rejuvenation.

Humans are not exempt from this natural law. We too are designed for natural cycles – breath cycles, sleep cycles, menstrual cycles, hormonal cycles, heart rate, and more. Yet too many of us are ignoring these cycles. We’re constantly on, overwhelming our senses with constant distractions and information, bombarded with tasks, slack messages, and emails.

But to truly perform at a high level, we must abide by these natural energy cycles. Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz wrote a book called The Power of Full Engagement. In it, they write, “Healthy patterns of activity and rest lie at the heart of our capacity for full engagement, maximum performance, and sustained health… To perform at full capacity and avoid burnout, we need a rhythmic movement between energy expenditure and energy recovery. High effort without recovery or excessive recovery without effort both reduce our energy, engagement, and effectiveness.”

Burnout is inevitable if we don’t find ways to rest our bodies and minds. 

The second half of the burnout formula is more psychological in nature. Plenty of people work long hours and are high-performing, engaged, and healthy. These people feel connected to their work in a meaningful way and generally feel like they’re making a difference in the world.

But there are many more people whose working hours are like empty calories. Fewer and fewer hours spent at work are connected to anything they care about. Like the American tourist, they are constantly doing more and more until they lose track of why they’re working in the first place.

More of the leaders I work with resonate with the quote from the writer Studs Terkel: “[We’re in] search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for a sort of life rather than a Monday through Friday sort of dying.”

Researchers at Stanford had students keep a journal over winter break. Some of the students were instructed to write about all the good things that happened to them over the break (“I went on a date!” or “I got a great workout in today.”). Other students were asked to write about their activities and how those activities connected to their values (“I went to the gym today because I care about my health” or “I went to dinner with my mom because family is important to me”).

Those who connected their activities to things they cared about returned in better health and with better vibes than the control group. They got sick less, were more social and confident, and were more resilient to stress.

Other similar studies have gone on to show how consciously connecting to our values impacts everything from immune function, to successful relationships to increased pain tolerance, higher GPAs, work bonuses, weight loss, and a reduction in bad habits, 

This, of course, is the punchline to our Mexican fisherman story above. More activity without meaning won’t leave us better off in the long run. It’ll just burn us out.

Burnout, like delegating, won't be solved with simple tactics. There needs to be an overhaul in our relationship to work and time. For so many people, being "busy" or a "hard worker" is so attached to their identity that they'll never reorient the way they work and will continue to burn out. 

I remember going out to dinner with this guy. He was the Head of Sales at an organization where he made upwards of $40,000 to $60,000 per month. At dinner, he talked about all of his different interests, from working out to making music. He then told me that the company's CEO had been hitting him up all day (it was a Saturday). I asked what his response was, and he said, "Nothing. I'll get back to him on Monday."

For most of us, if we made that amount of money, we'd likely get back to the CEO right away, said yes to every request, and rescheduled any dinner plans we had for fear of getting fired or penalized. You know what happened to this guy? Nothing. Except the CEO stopped texting him on Saturdays.

And this was one of the highest-performing people I've ever known. 

If you're susceptible to burnout, it starts with you. Have the courage to say no. Set up your own systems of rest and recovery. Have clarity of what's really important to you in life. You're going to have to change to change.

And my guess is that all you really want in life is a few fish for your family, a few friends, an afternoon siesta, and a few cocktails on a Saturday.